she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
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I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
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It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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