She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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