I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
