WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
