Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
