1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
