He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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