Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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