Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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