Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
What a dumb baby whore.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
