Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
