so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize