just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
