I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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