these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
