thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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