Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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