dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
