Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
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im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
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I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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