I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
