Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
