do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
