do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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