Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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