Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
