I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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