so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
