he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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