I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
