You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Even my vagina gasped.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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