Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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