Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
