I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so let's talk penis.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
