I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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