Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
