he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize