yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
