I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
