She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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