Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize