Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
