Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
