2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
