lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
