i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
