Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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