Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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