that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Are my feet made of real feet?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
