I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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