i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
