the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
