can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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