My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
