Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
