sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
