he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
