You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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