How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
