dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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