final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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