Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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