I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i've created a new STD.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
