i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
