guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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