You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
